By Travis Sanders:
I want to start by saying that not all psychics/mediums/healers have terrible luck with love. I know several readers who have had long and happy marriages. However, and Im including myself in this statement- the majority of readers I know either have an awful time finding love, keeping love, or being satisfied in the relationships they find themselves in. So, lets examine why!
1) Red Flags
As intuitive or psychic people, we often times know more than we care to know. Sometimes when it seems like we just can’t find anyone worth going on more than one date with, it’s because we see more deeply the red flags, that others, who might not be “seeing” energetically, can see. You might look good on paper, but within a few minutes we can sniff out your dirty laundry, patterns of thinking, and vibes that speak loudly even if your mouth might be closed. This isn’t to say we are actively trying to read our potential suitor per-say- but hey! We know what we know!
2) Empathetic Mirroring
This one can be tricky, especially for those sensitives who don’t have a firm grasp on self-identity. It seems everyone today is an “empath”- A term I don’t much care for. That being said sensitive people are highly empathic. When your are sensitive and seeing someone who isn’t good for you, those seemingly obvious red energetic flags can be easily overlooked when you internalize the other person’s feelings as your own. Are you really into that person, or are they super into you!?
3) The Healer Archetype
Psychics, mediums, sensitives- the core of what we do is based in healing. We are healers. When you carry the healer archetype, we often unconsciously seek-out broken people, because the healer in us thinks we can fix someone. We are attracted to their potential. But people aren’t projects, or cars- and we can’t fix them nor is it our job. Awareness of our motivations is crucial in cultivating something worth investing in!
4) Psychic on Psychic
So- I’m in the club of a psychic that’s dated another psychic. It’s not fun. Sometimes because we often feel like we live on a fringe, or in a counter-culture of people, we desire to find others in our camp. However when you both pick up on feelings, thoughts, emotions, projections- it’s hard to tell what is what, and what is whom, and who is whom, in the energetic ball of yarn that is your relationship. Sensitives aren’t necessarily the most grounded people. We need a complimentary “anchor” and at-least in my opinion, psychic on psychic is less than ideal.
So we want an anchor, a grounding figure, someone who can balance us when we get a little to etherial. Right? Mostly, but I think they should be at least someone on a spiritual path who can support us even if they don’t do the same work or perceive the world in the same way. If your “muggle” partner lacks support or understanding of why you are the way you are, it leads to miscommunication and assumption. If you can’t talk to them about your day, or the spirits you’ve talked to, the vision you had, the dream you dreamt, you will eventually want a connection that isn’t present, and probably be inclined to look for it elsewhere. Finding a “muggle”or non-psychic who is open and supportive is ideal!
6)New Age Indoctrination
Psychic doesn’t necessarily mean New Age. Although in todays world they often go hand in hand. And with that New Age philosophy is a bunch of bogus ideas that get hammered into us as truth. Mainly this idea of soul mates and “twin flames.” The idea that you’re a half of a soul, and that you’re not complete until you find the missing piece to fulfill your full potential, is total and utter bullshit. And while we are at it- soul mates aren’t necessarily romantic! Your dog can be a soul mate! Your family members and best friends are soul mates! Hell, even that bitch at work you can’t stand could be a soul mate! Remember- everyone is “the one” until they aren’t. And then another “the one” may come along. Everyone comes into your life for a purpose. Some are just seasonal and thats okay! They are all teaching you something.
A lot of psychically-sensitive people are so sensitive because they came from broken homes, abusive families or experienced tragedy at a young age. Their heightened intuition is a survival tool that kept them fed, avoided predatory people, and guided them from detrimental situations. However, in those “broken situations” we can develop beliefs systems around self worth that dictate to us the love we think we deserve- and often time those belief systems are flawed. But we can’t give what we didn’t have. We can’t know what we never were taught. And we cant emulate healthy relationships if they weren’t shown to and experienced by us.
Psychics, mediums, sensitives, healers: we can be some overly sensitive people. We’re emotionally driven, and moods can change like the tides. We’ve learned to trust what we feel, and know that it’s right, even if it’s only right for us. Often sensitives don’t need to, or care to know the why- just what is. And while confidence in our intuition is great, it’s not an excuse for tolerating unhealthy emotional, mental and intuitive patterns in our lives. Sometimes this can cause truly patient and compassionate people in our life to get fed-up with the erratic behaviors that some sensitive people exhibit.
So Are We Just Screwed?!?
Not at all. I think there are several things to keep in mind.
*Divine timing and your timing aren’t always aligned. Divine timing always wins.
*Do the work! If you have baggage, becoming aware of it is the first step, then seeking to resolve it is next. Counseling and therapy are wonderful tools to help.
*Work on codependent patterns.
*Be kind to yourself
*Take inventory of yourself, including your motivations.
*Are you being needy? When we desire something so much but are attached to it from the place of need, we can experience paradoxical results.
*Take steps to build self worth.
*Get grounded! Live in this world, even if you’re aware of other ones!
*Learn to be okay being by yourself! Love your own company.
*Don’t settle for less than what you need in someone.
* But also don’t be so black-and-white that anyone could fail to meet your standards. *Sometimes what/who we want and what/who we need are not the same thing!